"blah blah blah, I'm nathan and I think my life sucks."
Girls are manipulative, self-centered bitches. Some of them say "I'm different, I'm not like those other girls." But don't let yourself be disillusioned, they really are, they just hide it better.
With that, Guys are sex crazed, egocentric ass holes. Some say "I'm a nice guy, we don't need to do that, I'm secure in this relationship." but they're not, they just hide it well.
Once you can accept those things, relationships are a lot easier. Self preservation is a funny thing, because often the thing that people think is saving them is the thing nailing them in the back. (no pun intended.) I.e. holding back in a relationship to keep yourself from getting too hurt/involved can lead the other person to interpret it as not wanting the relationship and breaking it off; where as in other cases, having a flirtatious personality that tends to make other people attracted to you could seem like a plus because then you feel like you've got a buffer should it fail, but it could force the other person to feel you're not serious about them and be unattracted to it.
bleh, I'm not sure where I was going with this, and I have to go get ready for work. I'm sorry about everything, and I hope that all gets well for you; I think you're a good person.